Tuesday, December 13

Sneak Attack for x3.0 damage!

 I am posting this on both my blogs because I felt it overlapped between gaming and being a wifey. You can check out my other blog here.

Yesterday, I stumbled across something on the internet that gave me an idea. So I went to the store, gathered the necessary surprise, and then called my husband at work to let him know I had a little 'surprise' planned for him. He tried to weasel it out of me, but I told him sweetly that I would be waiting for him when he got home.

"This is all highly suspect," he said, sounding moderately intrigued. I smiled as I hung up.


I set everything up, then waited in a dark, quiet house for him to get home from work. I heard the garage open. I heard him unlock the door. I could see the light in the kitchen flick on from my hiding place on the opposite side of the house. Then I could almost hear the wheels turning in his head, even from the other side of the house as he examined the surprise I'd left for him. I had left a nerf gun, loaded, with some extra ammo, on the small island in our kitchen, where he'd be sure to see it.

Also, I left a note. In case you can't read my horrible purple sharpie handwriting, it reads: "Oh hai. This is your gun. It's loaded. I have one too. Prepare to defend yourself." Then I drew a heart, because hearts make the threat of imminent attack so much more bearable. I was smiling uncontrollably at this point, almost giggling, even though I knew that my 'life' depended on my staying quiet and going through with my sneak attack. For a long time, silence reigned. Did he not think it was a good idea? Was he going to think I'd wasted money on children's toys? Despair began to flood through my womanly wifey mind, and my joy turned to despair. I was stupid. I'd picked a bad surprise. I should have gone for the lingerie.

Then, I heard a noise. Was that the kitchen drawer? The one with the... the flashlight? OH. Oh ho hahahaha. My smile came back, and I cocked my gun, then checked my pockets to make sure my extra ammo was still there. This was going to be fun.

Now in my head, I was expecting to be all cool and awesome, like I am in video games. The truth is - I am a girl. I was also a girl in the dark, wearing socks on a wooden floor. That  attempt to run behind the couch and duck down? Yeah, it ended in me slipping and falling on my behind, but I was laughing the whole time. As my mother told me my whole life, my secret middle name is Grace. About this time is when the cats ran for cover. I don't think they knew quite what was about to happen, but they knew it was going to be scary. I got back up and peeked up over the edge of the sofa to see if my husband had come out from cover yet.

This is not my husband. This is, however, how he came around the corner.
My husband, as I had thought from the sound, had gone for the flashlight, and came peering out from around the corner like a cop or something. My elation turned to fear as I suddenly realized he was going to be much better at this game than I was. Especially when not a shot had been fired yet and I'd already done nothing but fall down. I guess in the end, girls play fps games and are still just girls. Guys play fps games, and well, they become comfortable with guns. He handled that thing like it was real. I was kind of awestruck, if being awestruck with how your husband handles a nerf gun and a flashlight is ... a good thing. I guess it was one of those little moments where it hits you, for the umptybillionth time, that you married an amazingly cool man.

In the end, the shots flew thick and fast, and we both scored good 'hits' on each other. He even said, in a perfect Aussie accent "Boom, headshot," after landing a particularly good shot on my face, that ended with me making a temporary tactical retreat while laughing hysterically. I rebounded with a dirty shot to his nethers, which missed. I hit his knee and made an "arrow to the knee" joke in my head. We ended laughing, and he declared that it was a good surprise. The next morning, in between creating his characters on SW:TOR, he was playing with the gun and seeing how fast he could fire off six rounds, since these pistols are in no way automatic (I went for the cheap guns, in case this was a bad surprise. Now I wish I'd gone for the bigger, fancier guns).

He even took the note with him to work today to show his friend and is going to look up videos on youtube on how to mod the gun to remove the air restrictors.... whatever that means.

I guess that's one point for wifey? Or is it one point for husband, for being awesome?

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