Does This Mean I Have No Life?

So I finally did it.

I cancelled my lotro sub.

And yes, I shed a couple tears before I hit that green button. Does that mean I take the game too seriously? Does that mean I have no life? Probably.

Do I care? Yes.

We can't justify paying for three mmo subs right now, and with SW:TOR still pretty fresh on our plates, lotro, being the old, worn out, flataslastweek'snewspaper game, it had to go.

So why was it so hard for me to cancel? I've waited weeks to do this. I've wanted to find a way around it. I considered using Christmas money to pay for another year's sub. I considered all sorts of things to scrounge up the money to pay for another year's sub. In the exit survey, one of the questions asked was "what can we (Turbine) do to bring you back to Lotro?" I put in that they could give me a free lifetime sub if they wanted, because honestly, there is nothing wrong with their game (or wrong enough to drive me away).

I just don't have the time (or, more importantly, the money) to keep paying for it.

I guess it is all the time I have put into the game over the years that is killing me. All the fun memories I have of running things with Squid. The friends I've made - who thankfully, have moved around with me to other games (I'm looking at you, Minecraft and SW:TOR, and yes, even you, stupid Tanks).

I think my biggest fear in hitting that green button was that this felt like a betrayal to Indrabar. She's been with me for so long, and hey, it is an rpg, after a while it does begin to feel like that pixelated thing on the screen is a part of you, and that you really did defeat Mordirith or clear out Sammath Gul or down a dragon or two.

It feels like a betrayal because there was no Indrabar in SW:TOR yet, and there probably won't be, because, as my husband once said when I was creating my character for that short stint in SWG,  - "It's not a very Star Warsy name. It just sounds, well, elvish." So, for SWG, I went with Tsuka, and Tsuka is now in SW:TOR.


Tsuka was also in Skyrim, instead of Indrabar. A psychologist might say that two personalities are fighting for control.

Yes, I know it is just a game.

Yes, I am a sane, mature adult. If I wasn't, I wouldn't have cancelled.

Just because I am an adult though doesn't mean I have to be happy about the choices we are sometimes forced to make.

 Well, here's to the 20th, and whatever changes that will bring to Indrabar and the rest of my lotro characters. Hopefully they won't all just poof into thin air. Hopefully I won't cry like an idiot again.

Maybe now I can have a real life, you know, in the real world.


If I was able, I would give Indrabar permission to punch me in the face for just metaphorically indefinitely locking her in a dark cell with no chance of sunlight or ever seeing her forty-nine horses and three goats again..

Starfighter: Fail

So my boyfriend got me hooked on Star Wars Galaxies, an MMO that's been around for a while. But it's good. So good. Hence the being hooked. Only issue is - my internet connection is a little less than stable. This has led to a certain difficulty in completing my current quest.

There's this series of quests called the "Legacy," and as part of it I have to track down this certain droid that somebody wanted. Wouldn't you know it had been sold. So I tracked the buyer down. Turns out that he, for some unknown and unfathomable reason, decided to take the droid apart and send pieces of it to different people all over Tatooine. That, to me, makes LOADS of sense.

Boyfriend (mentioned earlier) just gave me a new computer for my birthday (which hasn't happened yet, but whatever) and I am thrilled about it. However, I am in no mind to take it apart and send pieces of it all over the state (country/etc) just on a whim.

*******************
Later
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So I've tracked down everything but the head, and that droid, EV-9D9 (you know, the one who worked in the torture chambers of Jabba's palace in Return of the Jedi.... yeah... THAT droid.... ) has it. And she won't give it to me. Not until I destroy some ships who have droids on them who escaped from her clutches.

In an effort to further diplomacy between the rebellion and Jabba (not really, but it sounds nice) I launch my poor, abused little ship into space and head off after the ship with the droid that she wants eliminated. That ship flies a good bit faster than my little thing, and gets away. So I land, tell her, and she tells me to try again. I do. And again, the thing jumps to hyperspace before I even get close to it. So I try again. This time, I catch up to it and blow it out of the water... erm... sky. Thinking she should be satisfied, I start to head back to port, but noooooo.... she wants me to catch ANOTHER droid. You'd think she'd learn to keep better security on the place, with all these droids jumping ship. I head off after that ship, and just as I manage to get close to it, the escort fighters surrounding it blow me to bits and I am forced, via a dramatic cutscene, to eject.

I trudge back to EV, and wouldn't you know, she won't just give me the head for all my effort and trying. No, I have to go back out there yet again and do the job right. So I go out. I get the first droid. I get the second droid. And just as I am about to receive the coordinates for the third (and hopefully final) droid, a TIE bomber spawns out of nowhere and I, like usual, am once again dead.

Thinking, that maybe, I am getting the hang of this, and now that I know the Imperial is going to show up, I try for who knows the how many-th time, and once again, I make it past the first. I make it past the second. I even manage to avoid the TIE. Just as I begin to exult in my piloting abilities, my internet connection resets and I am ejected from the game.


I'll try again later.